National Day

Yesterday was National Day, I couldn’t go out but the others did, didn’t ask how it went (except my father who is always unimpressed and dissatisfied, he was obviously… unimpressed and dissatisfied ). Anyway I don’t think the fools took any pictures, the bestpic on sony ericsson works wonders even for shoothing fireworks (it takes a continues burst shot when you half press the button then when you press fully down it will capture where you are but also 4 shots before and after) ANYWAY, I FEEL SO UNPATRIOTIC I just realized it was national day 2 days earlier (I need to start reading the paper again and more often). Anyway I hope everyone enjoyed the light show and fireworks (maybe I will catch something on the news later today). Moving my fingers (AKA typing ) seems to be keeping me awake (which in this case is good by the way). I’m not into patriotism anyway. At least I had a look at there website http://www.ndqatar.com/ bit of a dramatic introduction.

BUSTED YAY :D

YAY IM BUSTED, I can’t help but smile (I just LOVED the response btw). So anyway I am going to go out now and see if I can buy anything before flying back to Doha and giving up my money (I am the eldest and work = 3eediya). Bro H isn’t here shasawi? QUACK it all, I finally get to sleep then I get attacked by messages and a missed call just long enough to wake me up properly, I need to call umi. If you’re reading this (you know who you are, relegioun, sounds like bad pasta from under a 900 year old bed) thank you for busting me, you just made my day , there really is no helping people like me .

Eid mubarak happy people, I will do the message thing tomorrow (that way I can just steal the best of what I get )

Eid Mubarak. Never satisfied? feeling “faint”

Eid mubarak, now I feel guilty because I’m not home for eid, my mother is sad because it is a fun but stressful time and it is the first time me and another of my brothers isn’t home for eid ul fitr. My poor bro hasn’t been home all Ramadan. So now I am going to miss the drama (and the breakfast of eid) OMG no balalee6, I love balalee6. Seems I never be satisfied a few days ago I said I hope the 30th is eid and upset her (I said I don’t want the drama, she said it’s not fair she is the one to suffer alone miskeena. Bad son.) so then I felt bad (naturally I still feel bad ). At least I’m off for the 2nd and 3rd, Ramadan has been hectic this year.

My father started going to the mosque this year (which is mostly good, more later), my brother is away in uni, my other brothers are quite busy with studies, my sisters are growing up (ok their always growing up but this year is different ), I think its the first time I have prayed so little in the mosque (Brother A as well, he’s usually pretty good but he’s busy with studies and other stuff), I’ve hardly been to taraweeh this year. My brothers are a bit stressed about my father going to the mosque now (it might seem unfair but it is justified), mushkilla he doesn’t care about your reasons or needs to leave (well he seems to have given up on me, sometimes), and second and more importantly has only become “holy” this year and is quite preachy, it is unfair especially to brother A because overall he has been going to the mosque more than anyone else over time and he is the youngest dude so at least don’t talk down to him (miskeen stupid smart naughty good boy, he’s so annoying sometimes but so easy to love). Baba needs to chill a bit.

Even though Ramadan has felt strange this year I really am grateful for so many things. My grandfather is out of hospital, disaster(s) ha(s/ve) come and gone (and we SURVIVED). My faith has really gotten stronger (true I didn’t go to the mosque enough but I know and feel more than ever and really understand ina Allah 3ala Kuli Shay’in Qadeer). Oh yes I managed to i5tim el Quran, it’s only the second time I do it in my life (I have various excuses not worth mentioning ) but the first time was more like I was forced to, this year I did it for myself (barely, ma3rif itha mahsoob im5ali9 in Ramadan). I’ve put alot of post its as bookmarks this year (things to remember, things to check tafsir, quite a few about women so I can tell guys off with confidence , la suj don’t mean to be cheeky but some guys really need to be told what they do isn’t exactly right…..etc etc…. long story hag youm thani).

I hope mahsoob hagi ajir inee 5itamt in Ramadan (not that I’m picky or have a choice , I will get what I deserve inshalla), I was reading most of the day (ya3nee when I could, I have been at work also ). Got to the hotel, I decided to wake my self up by walking (8 floors) up the stairs (didn’t work very well), long story short I think I fainted (I think I’m just tired and dehydrated) and didn’t finish reading till after midnight (stuff happened in between, bs malal. I did break my fast later). Now I hated the faint/ almost faint thing because I didn’t fall out of the chair, if I fell out of the chair it will be a funny story to tell BUT I DIDNT, so what to do now? I am still tired maybe I’m sick? I went up and down the stairs again (run 4 floors, walk 2 floors then crawl the rest ) and had something to eat so I should be FRESH as… sashimi (couldn’t think of anything). I feel fat, maybe I need to sleep (sleep makes life complicated).

Anyway in spite of how much I complain (I did quite a bit didn’t I ) and think and worry about the future (it is still scarey) I am really thankful for everything and rahmat Allah. I suppose it is too bad I will miss eid.

الحمد لله و عيدكم مبارك

Almost time to pray here. Then maybe SLEEP. No good movies… no way I’m paying 13.5 € to watch Sex and the City. Maybe listen to Abdel Halim (just in the mood, Betloomoony lieh ?). People keep messaging for eid, I will take care of that after tommorrow I guess.

ZAKAT

Its been a year, I’m such an idiot. Have to do this ASAP (I was going to last week but things got SO SO crazy). Banks are closed for now, everywhere so busy when it all opens, ducks. I can’t believe this. Wonder if they accept cheques? I am such an idiot (I’m getting bored of saying that). No taraweeh tonight I guess (again, Ramadan this year is so strange).

Crying BORED of bad sleep

Ya ALLAH. I can’t sleep (I AM SO BORED OF NOT SLEEPING LIKE A HUMAN) and I have a long day at work tomorrow (technically today). Three days ago I actually cried, I think I cried more than I ever cried, I feel silly now (I had a good reason to cry but still, crying is for movies or for sad music, or when the 5u6ba is really good). I’ve been sick and moody but now I be feeling better (except I’m always moody ) I have only exercised like three times since Ramadan, I feel fat (luckily I didn’t put on weight but I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT), I’ve been kept quite busy though (need to learn Urdu before visiting grandmother in December , my mother told her I was speaking urdu, what a cruel trick, I’m going to get told off so badly ), it also seems I’m so sleepy at least every other day but I can’t sleep. I think I’m not using up enough energy. Thats it I’m going to exercise NOW. I will destroy this flabby stomach. I have been praying really hard for things to stabilize a bit (seems to be working), but until a certain thing happens I don’t want to pray for anything else which is driving me crazy because I always pray for certain things (4 or so, GREEDY GREEDY, I have things to want not necessarily for myself, sometimes for me ). Ahh I think my faith in god is a bit stronger than it has been for awhile these last few days. Al Hamduli Allah everyday. It’s 2 in the morning, OH YES UMI MADE SAIMYAH FOR ME YAY. I read on someones blog that their bored of how routine life is, honestly you would think some people would know how to appreciate a bit of calm every now and again, and there is always stuff to do (I’m just usually too lazy to do it, 3 languages to go. 278 Pages of Quran. AAHHH. I hope Eid is the 3oth so I’m in Vienna ESCAPE FROM DRAMA OF THE HOUSE, only going to get 5 hours of sleep BLAH) QUACK TO THE WORLD.

Allahu Akbar

My prayers have been answered it seems, I really can’t believe it I’m so happy. Maybe its not my prayer making a difference and I’m sure it’s not for my sake, but for now at least there is soe hope. Fi3lan ina Allah 3ala kuli shayy’in qadeer, bs lazem 3indina eman w najtanib al ya’s. AlHamduli Allah, ad3ee lil 5air wa al 9abr w rahat elee habaithum. She said before maybe god doesn’t love me, I think she knowes she was wrong now (she said maybe gd loves me ).

Yesterday was a better day

Tomorrow is never a better day it seems. The last few years life has been “bleak” in many ways. 3 days ago it seemed like the world was against my mother, we made a plan and decided we can manage. The day after, things got much worse, the day started so badly (yesterday), but by the end of the day it seemed things were ok, problems were partially solved and things would be better. No tomorrow is here and the sadness seems like it will never go away, nobody deserves to suffer like this, least of all this someone. The future looks black. The sadness might fade but life is about to get a whole lot harder and I’m really scared. Everybody manages somehow in the end. Kila naseeb, la howla wa laa quwata illa bi Allah. My father might just make everything harder by the way he is, I wish he wasn’t here for now, he isn’t that good a man (in some very important ways) and maybe he never was (to literally wish evil unto others to bring comfort to yourself, even after doing so much hurt. Shilfayda what you do itha niyaatik mub 9afya). Yesterday seems like it was a better day.

Garga’oon 1429 / 2008

Halfway trough Ramadan already, and I’ve only been to taraweeh twice and only just less than a quarter through the Quran, need to pick up the pace. I’m quite depressed because I’M NOT LOSING WEIGHT. Anyway probably spend the night handing out garga’oon to little kids who don’t even bother singing (lazy brats). I CANT BELIEVE IT HAS BEEN A YEAR since all that stuff that happened in a years time had happened (yknow what I mean). I got an email that my friend whos like a little bro (as in short ) might be coming to Qatar (he be from a small island to the northwest, Bahrain, where half me memories are, the other half are lost or twisted by my overactive imagination ). I hope he’s not messing with me because I read the email and was so happy, miskeen I will give him hell, mushkilla thooqah fe el akil shwaya bas. WHY DOESNT ANYBODY LEAVE ANY COMMENTS?


UPDATE My freind is only visiting for a few days, ah well better than nothing, I gave 17 or so kids garga’oon last night and some of them actually sang (a tiny bit not much though).

Ramadan Kareem 1429 / 2008

Yay Ramadan, mabrook 3alaikum el shahr. I am totally not hungry, I didn’t eat su7oor because I ate out with a friend last night, first I had to excape the house or I would have lost my mind (my father is obsessed with making a big deal out of food). I also had to do shopping (twice yesterday which my paa said he would do but whatever) so after going to work in the morning (putting out fire YAY) going shopping twice (I dragged my friend along the second time so I owed him dinner, that was a good steak OMG I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE ) and other stuff here and there I was feeling quite tired, I feel quite off today but I think I just need to do some stretching and exercise. Today I went shopping AGAIN this time with my father, I don’t know he seems to think I LOVE buying stuff for the house like really heavy tiring to move around cartons of drinks and boxes of frozen chickens, so he HAD to take me along OBVIOUSLY (well it wasn’t THAT bad but I don’t see why both of us had to go seeing as I have been going shopping for the house several times the last few days, naybe were meant to be bonding? IM TOO OLD FOR THAT OMG). I made a picture so I could send somthing original to my mother, I also sent it to my father and showed it to my aunt and they asked where I got it and I said I made it and they were like “you didn’t have to bother there is stuff online”, I told my aunt I wanted to send umi something by me even if it wasn’t that great, I didn’t bother explaining to my father I would of thought he would get it. Anyway they sort of made me laugh, apparently my thought process is abnormal ( I mean maybe I’m a bit weird) anyway I posted the pic I made (the one with this post ). Anyway mabrook 3alaikum el shahr w taqabal Allah 9iyamakum. AHA now I just remembered I’m going to work tonight . Ducks.

The fundamentals and basis of faith in creation, not fact

I decided to put out a draft on an article regarding an issue dear to my heart, the decision of choosing your belief in creation, I mean to focus mostly on the fact that on a fundamental level you are choosing to believe in something ; without having 100% undeniable irrefutable evidence that can be put on paper, explained by science or experience and accepted as universal truth proving every other belief wrong and being so devastating in certainty people would swallow their pride and concede defeat once and fo all if the point is indeed proven.

First lets say you chose god, nay-sayers will say where did god come from. Other choice i present is the big bang theory, okay where did the big bang come from?

At this point you make a choice, on how the very fabric of existence came into being. A question of faith, not fact. I want to expand on this idea but I have to put on paper (so to speak) in an eloquent manner