REALLY BUSTED

REALLY BUSTED. Never knew I could get on anyones nerves so easily (obviously you shouldn’t know me and read my blog, it’s too much for some people ). I will have plenty of time to think about that later at work. I bought three watches, not sure WHY (or for who ), wanted to buy one for me then thought thats selfish so bought 2 hag umi since I couldn’t buy less for her, and I’m hoping one will match her new hand bag, she will probably not like them and give them to my sisters , after buying the watch I decided maybe I should give to my bro, not really my style, I will see if it matches my brown shoes and jacket first then decide (HE IS getting 3eediya after all so he shouldn’t complain). Long day ahead and I really am tired (but still happy in a way), back home midnight YAWN. Ah well time to go pray and get ready. Had breakfast (kebab) and lunch (kebab ), I also had dinner yesterday ( KEBAB ), so I should be ok. At least I got to wear jeans this year (jacket AND pants AND I didn’t shave SO COOL, usually only girls get to wear jeans, NOT THAT I WAS JEALOUS, well not that cool bs yalla). Time to go. Just no helping people like me.

BUSTED YAY :D

YAY IM BUSTED, I can’t help but smile (I just LOVED the response btw). So anyway I am going to go out now and see if I can buy anything before flying back to Doha and giving up my money (I am the eldest and work = 3eediya). Bro H isn’t here shasawi? QUACK it all, I finally get to sleep then I get attacked by messages and a missed call just long enough to wake me up properly, I need to call umi. If you’re reading this (you know who you are, relegioun, sounds like bad pasta from under a 900 year old bed) thank you for busting me, you just made my day , there really is no helping people like me .

Eid mubarak happy people, I will do the message thing tomorrow (that way I can just steal the best of what I get )

Eid Mubarak. Never satisfied? feeling “faint”

Eid mubarak, now I feel guilty because I’m not home for eid, my mother is sad because it is a fun but stressful time and it is the first time me and another of my brothers isn’t home for eid ul fitr. My poor bro hasn’t been home all Ramadan. So now I am going to miss the drama (and the breakfast of eid) OMG no balalee6, I love balalee6. Seems I never be satisfied a few days ago I said I hope the 30th is eid and upset her (I said I don’t want the drama, she said it’s not fair she is the one to suffer alone miskeena. Bad son.) so then I felt bad (naturally I still feel bad ). At least I’m off for the 2nd and 3rd, Ramadan has been hectic this year.

My father started going to the mosque this year (which is mostly good, more later), my brother is away in uni, my other brothers are quite busy with studies, my sisters are growing up (ok their always growing up but this year is different ), I think its the first time I have prayed so little in the mosque (Brother A as well, he’s usually pretty good but he’s busy with studies and other stuff), I’ve hardly been to taraweeh this year. My brothers are a bit stressed about my father going to the mosque now (it might seem unfair but it is justified), mushkilla he doesn’t care about your reasons or needs to leave (well he seems to have given up on me, sometimes), and second and more importantly has only become “holy” this year and is quite preachy, it is unfair especially to brother A because overall he has been going to the mosque more than anyone else over time and he is the youngest dude so at least don’t talk down to him (miskeen stupid smart naughty good boy, he’s so annoying sometimes but so easy to love). Baba needs to chill a bit.

Even though Ramadan has felt strange this year I really am grateful for so many things. My grandfather is out of hospital, disaster(s) ha(s/ve) come and gone (and we SURVIVED). My faith has really gotten stronger (true I didn’t go to the mosque enough but I know and feel more than ever and really understand ina Allah 3ala Kuli Shay’in Qadeer). Oh yes I managed to i5tim el Quran, it’s only the second time I do it in my life (I have various excuses not worth mentioning ) but the first time was more like I was forced to, this year I did it for myself (barely, ma3rif itha mahsoob im5ali9 in Ramadan). I’ve put alot of post its as bookmarks this year (things to remember, things to check tafsir, quite a few about women so I can tell guys off with confidence , la suj don’t mean to be cheeky but some guys really need to be told what they do isn’t exactly right…..etc etc…. long story hag youm thani).

I hope mahsoob hagi ajir inee 5itamt in Ramadan (not that I’m picky or have a choice , I will get what I deserve inshalla), I was reading most of the day (ya3nee when I could, I have been at work also ). Got to the hotel, I decided to wake my self up by walking (8 floors) up the stairs (didn’t work very well), long story short I think I fainted (I think I’m just tired and dehydrated) and didn’t finish reading till after midnight (stuff happened in between, bs malal. I did break my fast later). Now I hated the faint/ almost faint thing because I didn’t fall out of the chair, if I fell out of the chair it will be a funny story to tell BUT I DIDNT, so what to do now? I am still tired maybe I’m sick? I went up and down the stairs again (run 4 floors, walk 2 floors then crawl the rest ) and had something to eat so I should be FRESH as… sashimi (couldn’t think of anything). I feel fat, maybe I need to sleep (sleep makes life complicated).

Anyway in spite of how much I complain (I did quite a bit didn’t I ) and think and worry about the future (it is still scarey) I am really thankful for everything and rahmat Allah. I suppose it is too bad I will miss eid.

الحمد لله و عيدكم مبارك

Almost time to pray here. Then maybe SLEEP. No good movies… no way I’m paying 13.5 € to watch Sex and the City. Maybe listen to Abdel Halim (just in the mood, Betloomoony lieh ?). People keep messaging for eid, I will take care of that after tommorrow I guess.

STOMP STOMP STOMP

Venting my frustrations on the treadmill (well not really all that but I’m pretending to be emotional ) anyway no DOF, too lazy. 207, 210, 215 calories (last one was today) all after 30 min on treadmill (220 actually on the last but -5 because I dropped my merinda and paused, and paused to see me silly sis). I think my waist is a it down, weight is the same. I actually want Ramadan to end this year astaghfir allah, I’m just tired and stressed, I feel there isn’t enough of me to go around (maybe I’m just too lazy), I don’t mean that in a vain way btw (I still have time to think useless thoughts wanting things I shouldn’t and stressing people out apparently, just bad to the bone I guess , sarcasm btw ). Well things are ok for now in most ways Al Hamduli Allah. I am still trying to figure something out but just can’t (there must be something else, I am not that important or that bad so as to matter enough to be that upsetting), oh well time to shower, I’m a bit happy now because of the adrenaline and endorphins (happy hormones released when you exercise and stuff).

UPDATE yay I did the zakat, now I feel like an idiot because I left the house late anyway so I could of prayed taraweeh then gone , my mother told me off as well (which I deserved, I only went to taraweeh three times I think and even with the 20 or so days I have an excuse for I could of at least gone 3 more days, I suck ). Today I proved even while giving charity I can be an unpredictable goof. There is really no helping people like me . Last day of Ramadan at home so I am going to STUFF MY FACE (hint; food makes me happy). 5ayif umi za3lana miny . OH last episode of Code Geass, second season so lackluster so far, I want a happy ending for CC, wayid miskeena (she eats all that pizza and still stays thin somehow! but that must be what turns her hair green), I’m glad it’s finishing because it has become so uncool and the characters are disproportionate as ever.

ZAKAT

Its been a year, I’m such an idiot. Have to do this ASAP (I was going to last week but things got SO SO crazy). Banks are closed for now, everywhere so busy when it all opens, ducks. I can’t believe this. Wonder if they accept cheques? I am such an idiot (I’m getting bored of saying that). No taraweeh tonight I guess (again, Ramadan this year is so strange).

I hate email

I hate emails, now I’m waiting until after ramadan and thinking if I should send an email thani el eid or something. Maybe ask them to chat online? I don’t even like talking on the phone much because you can’t read people and people can’t read you, talking face to face is always the best thing (true it’s traumatizing to the other person because of the way I look , and I don’t think I can really do it in this case aye?). I’m thinking i’ve either been figured out or there is a serious case of mistaken identity (I is trying really hard not to answer the message, I hope I don’t upset anyone, thats it not visiting vox for the next 2 days, if I can help it that is), I don’t know which. I’m thinking that I really aren’t important enough to cause any sadness (but maybe I’m just stupid enough ) anyway either way I think I’ll send the email because I want to know what’s wrong, but I’m afraid what it would mean to that person or they would think I want or expect something from them, but I’m used to asking why people are sad (I used to email this person too sometimes to ask them, I just don’t know though yimkin ahasan atim sakit? yimkin malee 5us w I’m just really self obsessed?). Anyway I have to do alot of reading, I’m going to Vienna tomorrow and for a short stop, I have no idea what I’m doing though because of the funny way it’s scheduled, ah well can’t be too bad, I would buy a really expensive hand bag (the have a Luis Vuitton and other shops) but I’m a dude, my mother doesn’t want any (maybe because of the politics?), I wish I could go to an orchestra, but it is Ramadan and I never happen to be there when there is one, YAY next month schedule is out. Good job Hempel (not that you ever visit this site), I knew you could do it. I hate deadheading. Excellent I have 17 and 18th off (I needed that), now I can really cause some trouble (I feel sorry for the world that has to contain me). I can’t believe I fell asleep only 45 minutes before imsak (I said I will just leave my head here for another 5 minutes then poof), woke up under 10 minutes before, luckily there was a slice of pizza in the fridge, so I heated that and I was good (no time to eat sweet so sad, umi made sweet, I didn’t eat, I feel guilty now ). Am I acting like a stalker? WHAT THE QUACK!

Name of a Song

Land of confusion is a Song from the album “Invisible Touch” by Genesis. Really like that song. I guess I go for the whole “this is the world we live in and these are the hands were given… etc” kinda thing. I have no idea what I’m doing now, I know I’m not asleep thats for sure, I know I’m not being smart thats for sure. I think the thoughts that enter my (ugly vain selfish) head are totally ridiculous and obviously stupid and I just don’t know how to keep my big mouth shut. Why the hell can’t I delete comments off vox? I really have to stop being such a fool, it’s Ramadan mafrooth at’adab, I dance really really BADLY (just something else to learn to do, yay? probably cause I have ugly feet ), I have an ugly voice so I can’t sing, I have an ugly face so…(I can’t think of anything). Obviously I’m not a model, singer or dancer. I have no idea what I’m posting, every thought going through my (sleepy tired white haired) head is ridiculous in one way or another so why not GO FOR IT. Oh yay my waist shrunk (breathing like you’re dying or suffocating and waving your arms around like a crazy lunatic man clown on drugs while on the treadmill must work ). I have to try and be more patient (with my father) apparently. Don’t have time to be patient now maybe later . I have no idea what this post is about (thats why there is a category called silly stuff ), how can someone spell “rather” as “raither”? ITS DISTURBING. I want to tell them off al7een (losing focus too sleepy). At least I’m off tomorrow. I wonder if most people in this world understand my jokes (then they would understand me because I’m a great big vain stupid joke HAHA, ok that was so not funny and completely… just not funny). I am such an idiot aren’t I? (I think I’m getting used to it though ).

NO NO NO

NO NO NO, schedule so messed up. Why can’t people accept the way I be. Anyway I was reading someone’s blog (that person I’m not supposed to be reading about ). Anyway I don’t know if they are checking out my flickr or reading my blog and I’m bugging them (taking me too seriously? I’m just a drama queen, thats actually a guy !!!) . They seem sad, can’t email them because I’m sort of not meant to (complicated, my bad ). Anyway in case you are reading this and it’s my fault I’m sorry, I’m fine and hope you are too, you haven’t done anything wrong to me, life is just, well the way it is. And if it’s not me, I’m sorry to be presumptuous, it’s not that I think I’m particularly important, maybe just annoying so sorry if I’m sounding arrogant or like I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about (very possible considering what an idiot I am). TTFN. Be happy please.

YES

Yay I did some exercise, I feel much better now. I really love my brown jacket, been trying it with everything (even though I’m sure I’m not going to be walking around just in my vest anytime soon please no one comment) I wanted to post some other stuff but I need to get going to work now, I’m just happy I exercised though, going to be a REALLY long day. Ah well work is work and fun in its own way (I get to throw around upto 93tonnes of metal tube, engines, people and fuel through the air, sometimes it’s fun ). Ah yes off to work, my mother is bored of me talking about my jacket, I hope it doesn’t look bad after I lose LOADS and LOADS of weight (which I WILL), I will be so so so so SO sos SO SOOSOSOSOSO sad. Ah well. Only way to find out is to lose the weight, maybe I can gain some muscle to compensate (it will take work though ) I told my mother maybe I should put it on the maid to seehow it looks on a skinny person but she thought I’m crazy (considering what I do for a living she may have a point ). I’m lonely, need somebody (hetrosexual and of the opposite sex) for company somtimes (most my few close friends are hitched, and having babies AHHHH, I love BABIES, I’m at least 2 or 3 years away from having kids, provided I find someone, SAD think I need to wait anyway , I love kids).

Crying BORED of bad sleep

Ya ALLAH. I can’t sleep (I AM SO BORED OF NOT SLEEPING LIKE A HUMAN) and I have a long day at work tomorrow (technically today). Three days ago I actually cried, I think I cried more than I ever cried, I feel silly now (I had a good reason to cry but still, crying is for movies or for sad music, or when the 5u6ba is really good). I’ve been sick and moody but now I be feeling better (except I’m always moody ) I have only exercised like three times since Ramadan, I feel fat (luckily I didn’t put on weight but I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT), I’ve been kept quite busy though (need to learn Urdu before visiting grandmother in December , my mother told her I was speaking urdu, what a cruel trick, I’m going to get told off so badly ), it also seems I’m so sleepy at least every other day but I can’t sleep. I think I’m not using up enough energy. Thats it I’m going to exercise NOW. I will destroy this flabby stomach. I have been praying really hard for things to stabilize a bit (seems to be working), but until a certain thing happens I don’t want to pray for anything else which is driving me crazy because I always pray for certain things (4 or so, GREEDY GREEDY, I have things to want not necessarily for myself, sometimes for me ). Ahh I think my faith in god is a bit stronger than it has been for awhile these last few days. Al Hamduli Allah everyday. It’s 2 in the morning, OH YES UMI MADE SAIMYAH FOR ME YAY. I read on someones blog that their bored of how routine life is, honestly you would think some people would know how to appreciate a bit of calm every now and again, and there is always stuff to do (I’m just usually too lazy to do it, 3 languages to go. 278 Pages of Quran. AAHHH. I hope Eid is the 3oth so I’m in Vienna ESCAPE FROM DRAMA OF THE HOUSE, only going to get 5 hours of sleep BLAH) QUACK TO THE WORLD.